Turkey Basters and Bicycle Kids

On the positive side of things today, Helen began at the library. Cool, Hello Helen. Tracy sorts the post issues (top job). Nicola giggles as she watches me during a discussion on breastfeeding (she reckons can see the invisible fingers in my ears and the internal la-la-la going on - what else you gonna get when you get two mothers in the same room who have young kids - meanwhile I'm mid-cataloguing and marginally oblivious to everything - at least that's what I'm telling myself). Mind you I'm lucky to be able to catalogue, the web element of N3 is up and down like a whores knickers today. No consistency at all. Luckily I'm able to download Marc records to work on in MarcEdit in the periods the thing is up, which means I can function when it's flaky. Take advantage of an up moment and I'm laughing. A box of books down.

Home via the bagwash to sort the Harry Houdini clothing from the washing machine. Nip the shop for cereal and batteries. The batteries power the combo from the toy electric guitar and mic that Cal had delivered for Crimble yesterday. By the time I'm home Monst and the boy have eaten. We get a performance of Karaoke Cal's version of 'Oo-de-lally' complete with Townsend windmills etc.

Cal decides he wants to join me in my dinner and dictate what it should be. Homemade burgers it is then! He watches TV, I do a little work and Bob's your Aunty. Meanwhile Arsenal keep me company as I wash up and they seem to have rediscovered where the net is after their trip to Bramall Lane. 4-0 to shut up the Reading Judas , Pardew.

Aaaaargh! I get home and the neighbourhood Bicycle Kid and his mate yell at me that I'm a 'Fat Bastard', while the former is a statement of fact the latter would require one of the following:

• The date my parents claim for their wedding is a matter of dispute
• My mother was playing away
• My mother suffered a period of gestation longer than that of an elephant, and while I freely acknowledge I can be an awkward bastard and I was breach to boot, I'm not that awkward.

Trouble is I'd hazard a guess that none of the three is in fact the truth. I'm not impressed and because I know where the Bicycle Kid lives, let his folks know. I wouldn't have been bothered if it had been anyone else but this one has history..... also suspect there is some level of responsibility for some cherry knocking that's been going on recently. A neighbour was telling me the other day if he catches the bugger at it he's tempted to slap the little bugger. While I don't see it as a likely scenario, it is reassuring that it ain't just me!

As with Ken I take the opportunity to watch 'This Life +10', it's alright and doesn't piss all over the original series, which to be honest is a relief. Wash it down with a bottle of Young's Special London Ale, which kinda seems appropriate given the TV and footie result.

Quick blink of the late days news and relax with a quick blog.......