It Pays for Papers

Ever since I heard 'Personal Announcements' (Ian who the hell were the band I can't for life of me remember) I've had an interest in the ads in papers. For the last couple of weeks I've been toying with the idea of listing whatever appears in the Sunday Independents supplement just as an example of the stuff we get shoved at us as we read the paper so bear with me. Bathrooms Nordic Bathrooms and Saunas Cars BMW Lexus RX300 Toyota Cinema Dogville Electronic Goods Bosch Orange Seimans Sharp Aquos TV Sony Fashion Latex Heaven Shape Up Flooring Solid Wood Flooring Co. Timberland Flooring Furniture Amazing Emporium Bookcases and Shelving General Interest Cigar Humidors Gifts Nice of Cardiff Home Office The London Wallbed Company House and Home Barka Parka Charles Mason Kitchen Facades Jewellery Diana Porter Yacht Racing Clipper 05-06 Now what can I tell about myself from this, given that these advertisers are obviously aiming at me because I buy this paper. Well the cars advertised are relatively large and would indicate perhaps I have penile problems (I drive a Micra, so perhaps that's irrelevant he added hastily), I obviously want lots of electrical goods (probably true, anything that saves me effort is a good thing), I like design around the home (yeah right, that's likely....), I like adventure and want to go round the world on a yacht (I get sea sick watching 'The Cruel Sea'), have enough money for contemporary jewellery (er... no I don't) and underwaer particularly latex underwear is a constant obsession (wouldn't suit me at all). I guess overall they're trying to sell me a lifestyle that is clearly beyond both my means and my interest. I'm reading beyond my means....