Chickentown and Clutches

Into Reggie and the phone leads me to Evidently Chickentown.

Monst calls me. Chickentown calls me. Monst is upset as I fling a blogging gig Tracy's way and apparently ignore her down the phone. Scab a tenner off the poor unfortunate Nicola because I haven't a bean on me and the wallet is at home. I'm told it's down to fog in Brizzle, and the arm flapping ain't happening. I arrive marginally early following a stressed up drive. Fog has lifted by curtain up. I return towards the Mersey, scab a free parking situation as the machine refuses to eat the money borrowed from Nicola (makes it easy to give it back mind!) and get to the Rocket and conduct an experiment in non-laxative, laxative impact as I break down at the Rocket. Not a good spot to be in, with a huge artic right behind you (I'd say up the jacksie but despite the fact I'm often called to vocalise with it, it ain't that big - honest!). Call the RAC. They come, looks like my clutch is going, 'Ooh! Er...Missus'. Dysfuntional in the afternoon as a result. Ring garages an relieved that the some demanded is not as bad as I imagine!

Spooks

So much delight at the derby win. Sunday the wi-fi in the house is a pig. Of course this is because I overlook the simple solution - the cat's been attacking the PC! Today I solve it with a huge Homer, Doh! AM news a pig. PM visit Christies for a presentation from Elsevier's. Interesting stuff, some of which may be of use. Home and fling the secret ingredient into the mince and tatties I'm cooking. I'll have to kill you if you ask what it is!

Wednesday no Sheffield

Draft some guidance on an FoI request I've yet to see. Need to scribble a model initial response. Freaky, also recieve some crap from a stalker. Refuse to respond immediately it needs reflection. News. Dash out the door, need to spend more time with Helen because I answer a query in a frantic hurry as I dash out the door and she deserves more.

Back to the Land of Manc for the afternoon. PCT Librarians which is always a delight because it's a bunch of good folk. So off I toddle to South Parkway, return to Gateway House, meet Beryl on the way in. Subject of the sesh is the proposed Primary Care Hub on NLH. Makes sense to me, it's coould be the Primary Care shelf of said gaff.....

Home, feed the family and then a monster sesh of Disney themed 'Clue' or Cluedo as those of us this side of the pond know it. Bit odd, but Cal played well and it was a fun family time of jolly japes and deep joy.

This is What She Said

Morning at Reggie, news and non-existent deities knows what, it seems a long time away now. PM and off to my fave station in Liverpool, South Parkway. There I participate in some sort of travel survey and leap onto a train bound for the Land of Manc and Gateway House. Once there I meet with Mildred around the delightful subject of FoI but along the way bump into Andy M. formerly of C&M but now of WC PCT. Pleasant chat, meeting goes well and I return to South Parkway by way of Warrington.

All in all not a bad afternoon, wish I could remember the morning.....

Flap Yer Arms Hard Boy, A Mancy Airport Tale

Curse you Malone-Lee (first year English Teacher) for teaching me how to spell Q-U-E-U-E and leaving it imprinted in my head with a auditory memory of the whole class chanting the bloody word. Why the curse? Because that was the story of our day in the Land of Manc. Took an hour to check in because the conveyor belt had been lent by the airport to the Beeb for the Generation Game and came back from them completely shagged. This tempted me to yell 'Teas made, Cuddly Toy, Facial Sauna, Some Other Shite You Never Wanted' and 'Didn't he/she delete as appropriate do well?' I resisted the temptation because in these unhappy times levity at Airports is never a wise move. Still on the plus side we meet a pleasant family and we're in august company as Dame Tanni Grey-Thompson checks in and shows the same stoical patience that the rest of us have too!

Eventually we check-in and decide food options are better before the security check if only marginally, we opt for Garfunkels. Personally I'd rather eat at Simon's I find Art slightly sinister. Food is OK but it ain't stunning. Anyway once done the curse of Malone-Lee strikes again. Folk still aren't used to regulations regarding the transport of liquids. The result another huge Q-U-E-U-E to get through to the departure lounge. Miracle of miracles 45 minutes after starting we get through to the security check and I don't bleep (with the exception of the bleep track in my head). I know they have to do it but I'm gonna have to confess later to the Americans that I'm not a terrorist, never committed genocide, been a member of the Nazi/Communist parties. If they'll take my word on it why can't our people just chill a bit? (All of this makes a change, usually I bleep and get felt up by some geezer who doesn't tip me a wink, flash me a smile or offer any vague sense of encouragement).

We're flying My Travel, cheap and cheerful which means that the mean gits will flog you every drink they serve. If they didn't use disposables I'd offer to wash up for a free cuppa.

Finish 'The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs' with four hours flight to go. The entertainment on the flight doesn't offer a film I want to watch and I'm on a bit of a musical break. Scribble the usual Visa Waiver form as some sort of diversion (I don't fill it in right though and at customs it requires some slight additional attention). Occasionally catch glimpses of Canada out the window but can't see any Mounties. Scribble notes for this thing. Use a dash for the downstairs bog by Monst and Cal to get a new book, they are to quick though but Monst takes pity on me and hands me 'Glue', I didn't pack 'Porno' somehow it isn't quite Disney. I get bored and reach for the Jonathan Richman. Eventually we arrive....and need to sort the transfers.

Jonathan Richman - Pablo Picasso/I Was Dancing in a Lesbian Bar

Bye Bye for a Bit

A week away from the daily grind begins here, unusually I decide on a total week off of work, doubt I'll be able to post from the House of Mouse. We fly from Manc and leave in 20 minutes. Frantic tidy of house as usual!

Notpod poised to avoid sacharine saturation. Good news is the new bank card arrived today!

Hello Mr Lemon Fish

Land of Manc

Woof

Curse You Red Baron

One and a half bays from completion and I run out of barcodes, I also leave my power cable for the laptop in the poxy archive. Still at least I have to go back and have an excuse to fetch the thing. Mind you I did notice a new box had sneaked in there while I was at lunch. Presumably they didn't think I was intimately aquainted with every box!

Tracy if I don't get a chance to do the news tomorrow, usual stuff but you can cut and paste from here.

Home, drag the boy to Beavers, fetch food with him post Beavers, impressed with the True of False sesh we had to keep him amused. Eat, hoover, blog and bath. Brum tomorrow.

With Fish in Our Beards

Mornings recording of records is paused due to lack of battery power. Go see Eddie the buildings manageer and let him know about the leak and the rodents! Come out for the recharge period. Start of the day and I was convinced I'm not gonna finish today, a wall of boxes in front of the racking that will complete the job, an avalanche of boxes where one had collapsed from the wall I'd been building too. Repair that situation. Then move onto the new stuff. Shift around 50 boxes and build a new wall. Usual situation, dusty, shite conditions but I quite enjoy the physical nature of it, makes a change from sitting on my arse all day.

Music today is all garage/psych influenced stuff, The A-Lines, The 5 6 7 8's, Thee Milkshakes, and The Prisoners keep me hard at it. The Dentists planned for the afternoon.

Try contacting Tracy via Meebo but Easy don't seem to like it and a direct contact through IM suggests we're offline anyway!

As the Night Starts to Close In

Er...first off Happy Birthday Ken. OK another catch up, the reasons for which will become apparent....

Revenge of the Rodent in Happyville

Friday and the curse of Fade with train travel this week comes to visit me. Earlier in the week Nicola has hassle getting to Salford and the curse of unfortunate train ticketing, I got it on Friday as my ticket wasn't valid. My own fault though. Other than that the travel to Oxford Road was fine. Sort Coffee and wander to Picadilly. Back into the 'Blackhole of Gateway House II: The Revenge'. Figuring on the amount I need to achieve in the day and the fact that I suspect I've over estimated the achievable I begin the day with a call to Tracy. I get Shan. We chat and it cheers me up more than it should. I call Tracy, sort a few things and it's down to work. The blackhole still suffers from a water laden, dripping pipe and I aim to record the records in the two racks in this part of the room to get away from the drip. My worst fear it that the pipe is some sort of soil pipe, I suspect it deals in reality with the water from the sinks in the canteen (bes scenario). The presence of gurgling water and drips means the preventative application of Joy Division (when in Manc listen to the local sounds, yes I know they were from Salford but it's all the Land of Manc to me). This it turns out is a good choice and by the time of enforced recharge break I'm over half way through. The downside is that I'm covered in dust fom the work that created the pipework and covers the boxes, discover that the place has evidence of rodents and I'm hoping that there wasn't too much mouse shit amongst the dust I have so liberally covered myself in.

Lunch is spent searching for Radian B Minera bath for Monst. I fail (I suspect eau de sweaty athelete ain't popular), refuse the invite of a bunch of Bush Baptists to a drink and chat about Jesus (they're too nice to put through my usual rant on the subject) and I resist the temptation to grab a pint. Result is I work like a loon on return and by 3.30 I'm done, desperate for a pint and nip for a Guinness at the station's Sports Bar (and horrify the barman by waiting for the thing to settle only to down it in one - mind you I needed it!)

Home, feed the family and rest my weary bones, only to receive a bollocking for alleged snoring. I say alleged because I was awake at the time of the accusation and I'm not certain you can snore while awake. I question the definition of snoring currently applied by Monst, it don't go down well!

It's a Strange Way to Go About Things

Saturday, the day to argue with the boy about homework, it's traditional, routine and upsets Monst who is sleeping in to get over the lack of sleep induced by my alleged snoring. Anyway prior to that I use the opportunity of an early rise to watch 'The Godfather II'. I'm a sucker for Gangster movies.

News, Spacemen 3, Experimental Audio Research and a retread of the Radian B experience fill the rest of the day. Plus this blog catch up.

The Spirit of Christmas is Truly Rum (Mountgay for Preference)

So having woken, blogged the news, put a link here for me to investigate more fully later in the day, I get to dash for the 7.04 that heads for Warrington Central (how that generates a wry smile of amusement everytime I encounter it rather than the guffaw generated by Milton Keynes Central). When there I transfer to the Scarborough train which goes direct to Manchester Picadilly. See I even know what I'm doing on the way here now.

Bump into the lovely Liz O'Neill on the platform. Chat as we head to Gateway (she's now an inmate of the gaff). Exciting day (well depends on your definition of exciting and when it comes to dealing with this lots files I have a low excitement threshold) because I enter the second archive today. I have been told it is better than the last one, the Blackhole of Gateway House. Eddie kindly lets me in. On the plus side it it brighter and seems more spacious than the Blackhole. The downside is there is still a jumble of archive boxes in the place and a large number of unboxed files. To get at the racking I will need to move a slew of boxes and then return them from whence they came. So what in my mind was a simple room to deal with is is turning into the 'Blackhole of Gateway House II: The Revenge'. the other downside in the place is that there has obviously been a need to adapt the plumbing of Gateway House (which has left heaps of concrete dust and revealed the woderful 60's concrete reinforcement to me), and it has a couple of pipes that gurgle with water (and one has a slight drip from it) and are gonna make me wanna pee all day, I can tell. This in itself is an issue because the lavatory arrangements in Gateway House surround the lift shafts and I'm the other side of a door with swipe control for which I have no swipe card from the toilets. Throw into the mix a general level of hypochondria as a result of Cal's lurg and I can tell it's gonna be a fun day. Luckily I'm on the right side of the swipe to have the escape switch and a well placed nove keeps the door open so I can get back the other side.

Never mind I dig into recording the boxes of crap in the first set of racking and filing cabinets and make rapid progress. It helps that only four of the eight filing cabinets have things in them. Plan is to get another rack of records sorted before jacking for the day. Still that will require the afternoon because here is still no power in this blackhole so I need to recharge the laptop. So off into the heart of the Land of Manc I wander. Nip into an easy Internetcafe and blog. Before I do thi grab some paper and a pen for some reason. Plan is to head from here to some lunch somewhere and then back to finish the days listing. In the near distance I can hear the plaintive wail of a Sally Army Brass Band playing 'In the Deep Midwinter'. By 'eck I'll have to trample on any notion of Crimble spirit in myself sharpish....

Tracy rings at some point to let me know it looks like the library in full has been assimilated according to Agenda for Chaos. Deep joy, it didn't take them long to do........ Usual NHS moans, grons and general whinge on the subject, you can inser them yourselves. Which reminds me positive vibes to Julie over at Life in the NHS who is suffering our latest wave of reform with considerably more grace than I could muster in similar circumstances.

Here we go again.....

Worth more than the cursory glance I've given it this morning from todays Grauniad 'The new 100 most useful sites'.

---

Phoned home last night, the folks are meant to be flying to Norway today, fog may intervene!

---

Right time for me to head to the Land of Manc.

Trains, Boxes and Wickets

Thursday

Budget meeting with Emma our new finance person, tutored by Eilleen our old finance person. Apparently we're quite simple to deal with. This is good it means over a companionable cup of char I flog the library to Emma. Usual story, didn't realise we are here and what we can do for the young studying finance person. Of course it ain't the first time we've told them and probably won't be the last. Marketing, eh! It's like banging your head against a brick wall but without the sense that you can get relief by stopping it!

Lunch is taken at the Marina in celebration of Christmas, Solstice take yer pick. OK devastating confession time, I'm missing the ability to be grumpy about Christmas, there hasn't been a Christmas outbreak at work yet. Is this lack of Sally and Christina providing Christmas critical mass for me to be grumpy about. Anyway the meal was pleasant, good comapny apart from me helps. Gonna nick the idea of the beetroot and feta tartlet at some point because it was good.

Home and Monst is suffering in tems of not feeling well, the result is two meals to cook. I then promptly fall asleep in the living room and when I wake get told I've been snoring like a pig and head upstairs at about 8.30 'ish, there are fringe benefits to this.

Friday

The benefits prove to be a rediculously early rise which lets me get the news done, sort out the blog that feeds Talkr to generate the podcast which I haven't talked about here yet. Finally found a service that automates the creation of podcasts that will work at work as well as home. The notion is that busy NHS managers might like to have our news current awareness service read at them. So a robotic American voice now does this. Don't know if anyone'll use it but what the hell it's a couple of rigid digits waved as usual! The automation is critical, my read it yourself experiment was too time consuming for repetition, this is at least simple to cope with. Anyway the feed address for it is http://www.talkr.com/app/cast_pods.app?feed_id=24421 so bung that in yer aggregator if you dare!

A more dubious benefit is the ability to listen to the cricket. Yesterday England had a good day, a reason for jubilation all round, today it is a bad day, the whole thing is fairly typical and only to be expected. Right now miss Dave being about the place to grumble about this state of affiars with. Cricket over Christmas won't be the same in the library without him about too.

A return to the Blackhole of Gateway House, which I discover from one of the boxes I'm listing is also alarmingly referred to as the Dead Room. Not found any stiffs yet... but still looking. Fondly hoping it'll turn into an episode of Inspector Moose! Getting used to the commute to the Land of Manc, train, coffee, scrabbling around on gruby floors recording records that nobody cares about (or so I think but I witness some being used today!) The Good news is I'll be almost sorted by the end of today apart form the odd box and the loose files. Ask Tracy to book me tickets for next week where I have the luxury of an empty diary (a reason to be thankful for Soltice season?)

Recharge time comes and I hit the web cafe at the Merchants Hotel for the purposes of this posting. Machines are empty, requires a buzz to get in and I'm not certain I'd want to spend the night here but for web access at £150 an hour it'll do.

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Victim of Geography

Land of Manc weaves its usual brand of geographical brand of bamboozlement on me. Its like Runcorn on steroids, shapeless and freaky! Anyway found North Manchester General having confused a native with a request for directions. There I found Vicky and Jenny. Together we made our way to the Headquarters which is cunningly left off the hospital maps on display for the public. Need to scrawl some notes on the meeting.

Blackhole of Gateway House today. Deep joy, Belle and Seb, a cramped train, a dirty, dusty ugly job in prospect. Still use the opportunity to fire off some mails.

Ashes don't start brilliantly for England. Still loads of play to go in the game yet and test cricket is always a bit of a rollercoaster. A thought that gets me through Urmston though I don't have scooby where that is!

Refuge, Sanctuary and All Round Noisy Gaff

Accosted at coffee yesterday afternoon by a member of a team that is seeing its function disappear in the current wave of NHS Reforms for some advice on materials relating to Practice Based Commissioning for an interview. Gave him some info and the names of a couple of the good guys locally to call who I know will give sesnible guidance and are friendly and approachable (and own a sick sense of humour to rival my own in one case - Mrs Mortality!) During the conversation it became apparent that it'd be difficult for him to call from the office as his line manager will listen in and the situation is kinda awkward. Simple solution, I offer a phone, a desk and darkened screens so he can call who he likes with no comment. Offering this kind of sanctuary I'll be entering the priesthood next. More serious is the culture in their office, it sucks.

Round 1 in my accidental preparation for the Ashes sleep deprivation project. Plan my usual early rise but wake slightly earlier. Blink the news, it fills the time but if I survive today OK then it'll be an earlier rise for the duration of the Ashes. Yesterday even Russell Crowe got in on the Ashes act. I thought the geezer was a Kiwi, confused therefore by his support of Australia. When we were in New Zealand I did see a T-Shirt proclaiming support of two teams, 'New Zealand and anyone playing Australia' and kinda figured that was a fair sum up of their attitude. Maybe not! Of course the plus side in this is I find time to catch up with my blogging here.

Work for the day is a trip to the land of Manc and the Principality of North Manchester General for an E-Resources meeting (deeply controversial issue in LIHNN!) a bunch of searches and the quest to find more Liverpool Firsts!

Happiness is Just a Chant Away

OK so I headed to the land of Manc again the day before I should have, but subconciously I must have known we were gonna be completely stretched tomorrow!

Another day in the black hole of Gateway House. Today though I seem to have frightened the natives! Visited by a number of people terrified I was gonna fling their records away. Some unrest that I'd thrown anything. Hmmm, the boxes had disposal dates that had passed, so I did! I am increasingly aware of just how much shit we keep in the NHS. I wanna take a match to it, instead I apply the retention schedules.

Finish the rack I aimed to do by chinese dentist, comes as a relief and in a hurry to leave I forget my book. Train journey relies on music then. Wind has arrived in the land of Manc, dunno if that's why some trains were cancelled. I love the station announcer apologising for any inconvenience. It is delivered with all the sincerity of a Country and Western song... Shouldn't mock but they clearly don't give a... Donald!

Now I return home. Can't hit blogger so mail to myself and take it from there.

Feed myself with yesterdays leftovers,text Monst having spoken to Kitty. Margaret is better than she has been. Me, I suspect the worst. Suspect Monst will feel that way too. Pay Eric the Milk his dosh and crash.

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Bleah!

Phone Nicola last night as I head for the train, night (it was nigh on four'sh having run out of battery again I gave up for the day having listed a fifth of the current archive I'm on, thrown out two wheelie bins of records and reached a stage of general grubiness). I call less because I have to, more because I need to speak to one of the good guys. Highlight of my day was a visit from Jean and Peter who were in the building. Rest of the day was crap, cramped and dirty and I get to repeat it again today - lucky me! The advantage of me doing it is it gets done:

• Strictly by the retention schedules laid out in the code of practice
• It gets it done

The disadvantages

• I don't know the organisations concerned so might be flinging valuable stuff without realising it
• I don't know if I'm only listing the organisation I'm dealing with's stuff, I could be listing material belonging to other organisations and flinging their stuff away!

All of this is in Gateway House a place that makes Hammy House at its worst look positively palatial! A 60s office block at Picadilly it is filled with endless manky stud walls and little and large offices. A return to mid-80s NHS land!

Get home last night, manufacture a chilli and watch a couple of recorded episodes of Scrubs before bath, wine, bed. Fail to blog hence the early morning entry this morning before I head off to the train. Yesterday decided to leave from the new Liverpool South Parkway (Tracy they've given me open tickets from all Liverpool Stations and no invoice btw), very plush, good parking (I figure I won't want to be trogging through rain on return to Liverpool - how right that was!). Very bizarre topiary golf thing going on which I presume was there from the Open's visit to the Wirral .

Contact Monst about the Margaret scene and begin the process of working out travel for her up to Scotland. Not good but has to be done.

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Love on a Farm Boy's Wages

What a screw up! Head into work having despatched Cal to the seat of learning that is Northern Primary. Need fuel badly and reflect on the closure of many a local petrol station as a result of the pervading power of the supermarkets. Get greeted by Tracy with the question 'What are you doing here?'. Curses, I was meant to be in the land of Manc at the YHA. Fling a request at Tracy to ring Shan to let her know I'm running late and how to cope with the news (I'd already blinked). Then dash to land of Manc, change of mind about route is forced by traffic, enforced fuel stop in Garston at the overprced Texaco and then I proceed to try and kill myself on the roads to Manchester. Manage luckily to make a bad job of it.

Shan is kind and supplies me with coffee and I jump into the training session. First thing is a decision timeline. Typically I start mine in what I calculated to be 1982 (coulda been 1983 I later discover following a bit of research) on a park bench in the Bullcroft with Ian and an NME article about Cope in which he appeared waist deep in a pond. Rapid romp through the rest of my life, decisions, options. Might revisit it sometime. Training is on creativity and decision making. Sat with Norma and though my suggestion that 'rule books are made for tearing up' was dissalowed from our top five tips for creativity it was a good sesh. Nice to see some good folk about.

Home and I arrive early, much more relaxed journey home. Consensus on food for the evening meal is that the chippy should provide and a stone cold sober Monst requests a kebab. I join her but conclude the beer kebab additive is required to enjoy one of the things fully. Eat, Monst heads up for a bath, need to get her to work in a bit. Cal hits the play station, I hit the PC.

Rupees? Query from Julie, to which the answer of Monst and Cal are off to India shortly (I'm dead jealous but can't spare the time) and need some cash. Need to sort the order tomorrow.

Mail from Christina who has begun the Writtle College News CAS Service, missionaries of the gospel according to Fade spread! Need to send her e-copies of my RSS Training docs tomorrow.

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